Trials & Tribulations of Non-Beer Drinking Hashers: The PNW Chronicles
Hashing Beyond Beer: Mr. Burns and Shorty share their humorous adventures and challenges as non-beer drinkers navigating the Pacific Northwest hashing scene. Join them as they advocate for inclusivity, variety, and fun—minus the stigma—on every muddy trail.
🍹🌲 Trials & Tribulations of Non-Beer Drinking Hashers: The PNW Chronicles 🌧️🥾
"🍺🤔 Wait—you two hashers don't drink beer?"
If Shorty and I had a dollar 💵 for every time we've heard that incredulous question in the Pacific Northwest hashing community, we could open our own cocktail 🍸 and cider 🍎 lounge. We're not allergic 🚫 or opposed to a good drink—just genuinely not fans of beer. Sure, hashing tends to revolve around beer 🍻, but trust us, those down-downs often feel more like punishment 😖 than celebration 🎉.
We're not alone out here in wanting more options while hashing the muddy trails 🥾 of the PNW. More times than we can count 🧮, we've seen non-beer options disappear quicker than a hare 🐰 with a head start, leaving us sipping on water 💧 or soda 🥤, awkwardly feeling like we're breaking some unspoken hash code 🕵️♂️. There's definitely a stigma 🤨 and a push toward conformity—to smile through a cup of beer, even when it's simply not our thing.
Our favorite solution? Bringing drinks so uniquely sweet 🍭 or strange 🤪 that even the most adventurous beer enthusiast hesitates. Watching fellow hashers struggle through Shorty's infamous syrupy concoctions 🧪 is its own hilarious form of entertainment 🤣.
Shorty and I have earned a reputation 🏅 for always bringing something interesting—not because we need to sneak anything in, but because we genuinely enjoy sharing delicious alternatives.
Ultimately, hashing should be about friendship 🤗, adventure 🗺️, and good times 🥳—not just beer. An inclusive kennel 🏡 offers variety—wine 🍷, cider 🍏, cocktails 🍹, and non-alcoholic options 🧃—making everyone feel welcome without pressure or stigma.
Next time you see Mr. Burns and Shorty on trail 🚶♂️🚶♀️, rest assured we'll have something tasty—and yes, we're always happy to share. Here's to hashing our own way!
ON-ON! 🏃♂️🏃♀️
Mr. Burns & Shorty ✌️😎
